Since I last posted about Lei, I have learned so much new information about his orphanage and caregivers thanks to several families who have visited the orphanage contacting me after I posted on the Zhejiang orphanages yahoo group. We now know that Lei is at Jiaojiang SWI which is on the China Sea where it meets the Shujiang river. There are only 14 children at his orphanage and one was just adopted in the past week by a Dutch family who actually have contacted me while in China. They visited the orphanage just a few days ago so they are sure they met Lei. I sent them his referral pictures and they are going to look through all their pictures to see how many he is in and send them to me. As you can imagine we are so excited that we might see recent pictures !!! One family did send me a picture of her daughter with him in the background in July 2006. He just looks like an angel from heaven, and I'm not kidding :-) We also now know the director of the orphange's name and we have a direct contact in China thanks to a gentleman who's son is adopted from Jiaojiang SWI. The recurring theme from all the families I've been in contact with is that this is a very good orphanage with loving nannies and a director who really cares about the children. The families who have told me this have all been to the orphanage and have met the director and caregivers.
Our LOI should be on it's way to CCAA by now because it was being translated last week. I also filed our I-600A today and our homestudy is moving at warp speed. All this said, I still know realistically that we probably won't travel until next May. Knowing who our son is and having to wait so long is just going to be heartwrenching ............ It already is. I will post any new pictures and information I receive. Hopefully I will have new pictures soon !
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Soccer Girl !!! WAY TO GO #14
Ok, well today was only Audreys 2nd Soccer practice and game but we all sure had a good time and we can already see her improving. ( She now knows to kick the ball when possible and which goal to kick it towards ;)) Of course there is this phenomena that is quite humorous to watch in which the opposing team member will stop with the ball and then Audrey and her teammates aren't sure what to do. They stand there and wait for their opponent to move. I guess you can't play soccer if your opponent doesn't move lol. Anyway, our first soccer game with Audrey we weren't sure what to think but today it was great. Sunshine, fresh air, exercise for the girls, and oh, the junk food at the concession stand wasn't bad either ;-) Rachel really enjoys soccer now too and she is going to be a natural when she's old enough to play. She can already kick the ball great !
Sunday, September 02, 2007
It's All About Audrey and Rachel
Actually Audrey has a fleece blankie from her "Rae" (grandma) that says "It's all about me, Deal with it". Audrey asked me what it said last night and I told her and she seemed quite pleased and kept repeating this phrase sigh lol. Thanks Rae !!! Haha
What is new with us? Well everything is always new, sometimes fun, sometimes exhausting and most of the time both !. Rachel is still as headstrong as ever and tests us daily. She doesn't have great speech skills yet, but she has no problem getting her point across. She is our little "spitfire" putting it politely ;-) Her main words these days are "one mo" and she puts up one finger. She learned this quickly because no matter how much you give her she isn't satisfied so it's always "ONE MO PEAS". She can also say "GUM" quite plainly. (a whole other story there). She also says "BAD" perfectly lol. Guess maybe her mama has said that one more than once. Whenever any of us do anything that displeases Rachel, she is the first to raise her finger and scold us with "BAD". Rachel feels inclined to do exactly what Audrey is doing at all times which is a great challenge. I let Rachel play with Play Dough the other day and you would have thought she had gold. She sat there mesmerized for at least 45 minutes using the little plastic scissor that came with it. I think she felt like she had arrived because I let her use what appeared to be real scissors ;-) Rachel has been doing some crafts at her new preschool and the teacher says she is really really into it. I told them that I believe it is because she is "craft deprived" at home. I am about the least crafty person you will ever meet lol. Rachel is finally starting to pay attention to security items, ie, baby dolls, stuffed animals, etc, although she still doesn't act like she has to have them. Rachel twists the hair on the back of her head at night to self soothe which is great except that when she wakes up the back of her head resembles a brillo pad ;-) needless to say I am still trying to push stuffed animals off on her. We are making progress slowly but surely.
I could write a book on what Audrey says on a weekly basis. Actually what she says begins from the moment her feet hit the floor (unfortunately this is usually quite early) until after her feet are back in the bed at approximately 9pm. Audrey is in the "Sassy", I have conquered the world and know it all" phase now. I'll start first with the talking. Audrey currently reminds me so much of that VolVo commercial where the man picks up the daughter and puts her in the back of the SUV and she never stops talking the entire time and he just has this numb smile on his face ;-). This scene would be our daily life now lol. Audrey doesn't have to have anything to say to talk now and if nobody will listen to her then she will sit and talk to herself, it is too funny ! Audrey can write her name now and a few other choice words like "MOMMY" *grin* ;-) She can count to 40 and I think if I would take a little time and sit down with her she could count to 100 in no time. Audrey is a stuffed animal junkie and we are seriously considering intervention soon !
Audrey is still taking gymnastics and she starts playing soccer next saturday so I will be sure to post pictures of that. I will be starting Rachel in gymnastics next fall when she turns 3. They have mommy & me programs for under 3 but I am just too old and tired for that one lol ;-)
What is new with us? Well everything is always new, sometimes fun, sometimes exhausting and most of the time both !. Rachel is still as headstrong as ever and tests us daily. She doesn't have great speech skills yet, but she has no problem getting her point across. She is our little "spitfire" putting it politely ;-) Her main words these days are "one mo" and she puts up one finger. She learned this quickly because no matter how much you give her she isn't satisfied so it's always "ONE MO PEAS". She can also say "GUM" quite plainly. (a whole other story there). She also says "BAD" perfectly lol. Guess maybe her mama has said that one more than once. Whenever any of us do anything that displeases Rachel, she is the first to raise her finger and scold us with "BAD". Rachel feels inclined to do exactly what Audrey is doing at all times which is a great challenge. I let Rachel play with Play Dough the other day and you would have thought she had gold. She sat there mesmerized for at least 45 minutes using the little plastic scissor that came with it. I think she felt like she had arrived because I let her use what appeared to be real scissors ;-) Rachel has been doing some crafts at her new preschool and the teacher says she is really really into it. I told them that I believe it is because she is "craft deprived" at home. I am about the least crafty person you will ever meet lol. Rachel is finally starting to pay attention to security items, ie, baby dolls, stuffed animals, etc, although she still doesn't act like she has to have them. Rachel twists the hair on the back of her head at night to self soothe which is great except that when she wakes up the back of her head resembles a brillo pad ;-) needless to say I am still trying to push stuffed animals off on her. We are making progress slowly but surely.
I could write a book on what Audrey says on a weekly basis. Actually what she says begins from the moment her feet hit the floor (unfortunately this is usually quite early) until after her feet are back in the bed at approximately 9pm. Audrey is in the "Sassy", I have conquered the world and know it all" phase now. I'll start first with the talking. Audrey currently reminds me so much of that VolVo commercial where the man picks up the daughter and puts her in the back of the SUV and she never stops talking the entire time and he just has this numb smile on his face ;-). This scene would be our daily life now lol. Audrey doesn't have to have anything to say to talk now and if nobody will listen to her then she will sit and talk to herself, it is too funny ! Audrey can write her name now and a few other choice words like "MOMMY" *grin* ;-) She can count to 40 and I think if I would take a little time and sit down with her she could count to 100 in no time. Audrey is a stuffed animal junkie and we are seriously considering intervention soon !
Audrey is still taking gymnastics and she starts playing soccer next saturday so I will be sure to post pictures of that. I will be starting Rachel in gymnastics next fall when she turns 3. They have mommy & me programs for under 3 but I am just too old and tired for that one lol ;-)
Saturday, September 01, 2007
A little about Lei
Lei is his first name and Liu is his surname. Alex is taking his sweet time choosing a name so until he decides we shall use his Chinese name. Who knows, Lei may tell us he wants to continue to use his Chinese name vs. a new American name so we better be prepared for either ;-) His Chinese name will definitely be included in his american name regardless. Lei is from Zhejiang province which is just south of Shanghai and north of Fujian province on China's eastern coast. He is from a place called Taizhou City. From what I can tell so far, this is a fairly rural region and not close to any large cities.
Lei is described as restless, energetic, likes to imitate, and play with toys. He sounds exactly like his sisters ! His update from the SWI also mentions more than once that he gets along well with other children and especially likes to help the younger ones. It states that he likes to help feed and take care of the them. Hearing this is one of the things that just really stole my heart for him.
I will post more as I know it and of course more about the girls !
Lei is described as restless, energetic, likes to imitate, and play with toys. He sounds exactly like his sisters ! His update from the SWI also mentions more than once that he gets along well with other children and especially likes to help the younger ones. It states that he likes to help feed and take care of the them. Hearing this is one of the things that just really stole my heart for him.
I will post more as I know it and of course more about the girls !
Latest Pics of Girls
I just got these back the other day and thought I'd share them. I am going to try to post more about our goings on tonight when the girls are to bed ..........
Friday, August 31, 2007
The Latest .............and then some !
Ok, first of all, if you haven't seen the video I just posted, please watch it. I copied it from anothers blog who copied it also who probably copied it haha. It is great and so expresses how most parents feel quite frequently ;-) Secondly, I have some big, big, very big news ! I never post so no telling when anyone will read our news but I'll post it anyway because I'm soooooooooooooooooo excited.
WE ARE GOING BACK TO CHINA A THIRD TIME :-)
WE HAVE FOUND A BEAUTIFUL 4 YR OlD BOY ON A WC LIST AND HAVE ACCEPTED HIS REFERRAL !
IF ALL GOES WELL WHICH IT SHOULD, WE WILL TRAVEL TO BRING HIM HOME LATE SPRING 2008 !
HE WILL BE 5 1/2 WHEN WE TRAVEL AND MOST LIKELY SPEAK LITTLE TO NO ENGLISH SO IT'S GOING TO BE VERY INTERESTING AND CHALLENGING WE ARE SURE.
OK, I'LL POST PICS NOW BECAUSE THAT IS REALLY WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE I'M SURE ;-) I THINK THESE PICS ARE PROBABLY FROM AGE 2 UNTIL PRESENT.
WE ARE GOING BACK TO CHINA A THIRD TIME :-)
WE HAVE FOUND A BEAUTIFUL 4 YR OlD BOY ON A WC LIST AND HAVE ACCEPTED HIS REFERRAL !
IF ALL GOES WELL WHICH IT SHOULD, WE WILL TRAVEL TO BRING HIM HOME LATE SPRING 2008 !
HE WILL BE 5 1/2 WHEN WE TRAVEL AND MOST LIKELY SPEAK LITTLE TO NO ENGLISH SO IT'S GOING TO BE VERY INTERESTING AND CHALLENGING WE ARE SURE.
OK, I'LL POST PICS NOW BECAUSE THAT IS REALLY WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE I'M SURE ;-) I THINK THESE PICS ARE PROBABLY FROM AGE 2 UNTIL PRESENT.
Monday, July 16, 2007
New Slideshow on Myspace
Just wanted to let you know that I posted some updated pics of the girls on our Myspace page. The link to our page is listed at the top of the links on this page. I tried posting the slideshow here but it wasn't formatting properly. I will post more about life here as soon as I can !
Friday, June 22, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Audrey Just turned 4 !
Audrey's Birthday was last weekend but we haven't celebrated it yet because she is having a party this Sunday. I thought I'd post her Gotcha Day Video in honor of her Birthday. I'm going to try to post a short clip also taken from her Spring program from her Mothers Day Out group. It is so cute ! Can you tell I'm a little biased lol?
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Catching up !
My posts are few and far between, but thought I'd try to share what little I can retrieve from my tired brain ;-) We have all been very healthy since April and just enjoying life. Audrey is growing up so fast and will be turning 4 this month. Yikes ! Rachel isn't even 2 yet and wants desperately to be 4 lol. She is in constant competition with big sister and she is now obsessed with sitting on the potty whenever I mention changing her diaper. I will be buying some pullups very soon to seize this opportunity ! Rachel is also transitioning into the "No" phase. I really think I liked the "yes" phase alot better haha. If you ask Rachel most things now, you will get the reply "no, no, na, no, no". It's usually a series of no's for emphasis I'm guessing. She is really starting to try to talk and say quite a few words. Among them are bird, duck, cat, dog, star, hi, bye bye and quite a few others that escape me. Rachel is our grumpy child too which is actually humorous sometimes. She is already imitating Audrey everytime Audrey pouts or gets mad. Rachel will cross her arms and pucker her lips to show her displeasure anytime things don't go her way. It is so funny to watch but of course we try not to smile ;-)
Audrey is currently working on writing her name and she is starting to know most of her lower case letters too. She can finally count to 20 now. The reason I say finally is that we have been working on this off and on over the past year and she seemed to have a mental block about it but now is a counting fool !
I'm still bouncing around the idea of "homeschooling" but haven't made a final decision yet. Next week I am going to contact some homeschoolers and see what kind of networking there is in our area. The only way I will consider homeschooling is if we do it as part of a network of families so that the girls aren't isolated. Homeschooling is extremely popular in TN so it may be a totally feasible idea. Alex's sister homeschools 2 of their boys in KY and is somewhat of an inspiration to me. I'll post more when I know more.
The pictures that I posted below are from our trip over Memorial Day weekend when we visited both our families. As you can see the Kiddie Pool was quite the rage ! The girls really love visiting their Rae and Grandpa and Nai Nai and Papa and all their Aunts, Uncles and cousins. The memories we create each visit are really priceless. The pictures towards the end were taken yesterday at a local park which I just love. It was a bit hot and sticky outside but there were lots of shady spots and the ducks were very happy to see us :)
Oh, and last but not least, I seriously have adoption fever again ............... I know I am completely insane lol, but I also know we will adopt again, hopefully starting the process next year. I'm hoping that we will be able to find a child on one of the special needs list because I really feel next year will be the right time for us to adopt a SN child. In fact, I fell in love with a little girl on the AHH list that is currently out, but It is just too soon to be bringing a one year old into our family. This little ones birthday is the day after Rachel's so I would end up with a 1 year old, 2 year old and 4 year old. This could result in me completely losing my mind lol, so I vowed we will pursue a SN adoption next year. Now I just have to get Alex on board ;-)
Audrey is currently working on writing her name and she is starting to know most of her lower case letters too. She can finally count to 20 now. The reason I say finally is that we have been working on this off and on over the past year and she seemed to have a mental block about it but now is a counting fool !
I'm still bouncing around the idea of "homeschooling" but haven't made a final decision yet. Next week I am going to contact some homeschoolers and see what kind of networking there is in our area. The only way I will consider homeschooling is if we do it as part of a network of families so that the girls aren't isolated. Homeschooling is extremely popular in TN so it may be a totally feasible idea. Alex's sister homeschools 2 of their boys in KY and is somewhat of an inspiration to me. I'll post more when I know more.
The pictures that I posted below are from our trip over Memorial Day weekend when we visited both our families. As you can see the Kiddie Pool was quite the rage ! The girls really love visiting their Rae and Grandpa and Nai Nai and Papa and all their Aunts, Uncles and cousins. The memories we create each visit are really priceless. The pictures towards the end were taken yesterday at a local park which I just love. It was a bit hot and sticky outside but there were lots of shady spots and the ducks were very happy to see us :)
Oh, and last but not least, I seriously have adoption fever again ............... I know I am completely insane lol, but I also know we will adopt again, hopefully starting the process next year. I'm hoping that we will be able to find a child on one of the special needs list because I really feel next year will be the right time for us to adopt a SN child. In fact, I fell in love with a little girl on the AHH list that is currently out, but It is just too soon to be bringing a one year old into our family. This little ones birthday is the day after Rachel's so I would end up with a 1 year old, 2 year old and 4 year old. This could result in me completely losing my mind lol, so I vowed we will pursue a SN adoption next year. Now I just have to get Alex on board ;-)
Friday, June 01, 2007
Friday, May 04, 2007
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Sick and then some .................
Right before Easter Rachel came down with a somewhat nasty cold, a few days later daddy came down with it and a few more Audrey and about the time everyone else was on the mend, mommy came down with it and it didn't go away but turned into bronchitis. Why did mine go into bronchitis ? Well, my guess is that my total lack of sleep while everyone else was sick and while I was sick due to Rachel teething, being sick and staying up at least 1.5-3 hours every night might have had something to do with it :( After 1.5 weeks on antibiotics though I am happy to announce I am human again and the girls and daddy too. Unfortunately though, yesterday Audrey caught another sneaky bug and ran a 102.3 fever last night and into today. Fortunately she seems like she's rebounding well today and her fever has broke.
Due to all the illness, our Easter was definitely not the most memorable but the girls did have a great Easter at home after Audrey and I returned home from Church. Audrey was able to go on an easter egg hunt at church but Alex and Rachel stayed home since they were both pretty sick.
Saturday, my sister and her husband and his parents and brother and nephews all came for a visit to celebrate our nephews birthday. We all went to Chuck E Cheese and it was crazy lol. After about 2.5-3 hours of complete chaos and very loud noise, I found myself standing in a long line with Audrey holding our receipt for 117 points towards some unknown prize. After nearly a 20 minute wait, Audrey announced she would obtain 2 tootsie roll pops and a small round container of sparkling lip gloss. I told you it was competely insane, but Audrey thought the whole ordeal was quite worthwhile ;-)
Lastly, Right after Audrey Rachel and I were almost completely well, we made a very long treck to Etowah TN to have outdoor professional pictures made (late Easter Pictures). The trip was an hour and 15 minutes each way which I didn't realize when I scheduled the session. Long story short, it was not a good decision on my part and by the time we got there the girls had a major attitude problem. The woman who took the pictures thought that they were so bad she gave me a CD with them on it for free lol. That is how bad they were !
I'll post a few of those pictures and some others as soon as I can.
Right before Easter Rachel came down with a somewhat nasty cold, a few days later daddy came down with it and a few more Audrey and about the time everyone else was on the mend, mommy came down with it and it didn't go away but turned into bronchitis. Why did mine go into bronchitis ? Well, my guess is that my total lack of sleep while everyone else was sick and while I was sick due to Rachel teething, being sick and staying up at least 1.5-3 hours every night might have had something to do with it :( After 1.5 weeks on antibiotics though I am happy to announce I am human again and the girls and daddy too. Unfortunately though, yesterday Audrey caught another sneaky bug and ran a 102.3 fever last night and into today. Fortunately she seems like she's rebounding well today and her fever has broke.
Due to all the illness, our Easter was definitely not the most memorable but the girls did have a great Easter at home after Audrey and I returned home from Church. Audrey was able to go on an easter egg hunt at church but Alex and Rachel stayed home since they were both pretty sick.
Saturday, my sister and her husband and his parents and brother and nephews all came for a visit to celebrate our nephews birthday. We all went to Chuck E Cheese and it was crazy lol. After about 2.5-3 hours of complete chaos and very loud noise, I found myself standing in a long line with Audrey holding our receipt for 117 points towards some unknown prize. After nearly a 20 minute wait, Audrey announced she would obtain 2 tootsie roll pops and a small round container of sparkling lip gloss. I told you it was competely insane, but Audrey thought the whole ordeal was quite worthwhile ;-)
Lastly, Right after Audrey Rachel and I were almost completely well, we made a very long treck to Etowah TN to have outdoor professional pictures made (late Easter Pictures). The trip was an hour and 15 minutes each way which I didn't realize when I scheduled the session. Long story short, it was not a good decision on my part and by the time we got there the girls had a major attitude problem. The woman who took the pictures thought that they were so bad she gave me a CD with them on it for free lol. That is how bad they were !
I'll post a few of those pictures and some others as soon as I can.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Things I love about being a family of four now ............................
Last night after we ate dinner, there wasn't anything left and we were all full but were asking if there was anything left. I can remember when there were always leftovers ............ I love empty pans and happy chubby faces with rosy cheeks.
I can remember my Grandma (mom's mom) always loved to cook for us when we came to visit and she would make an obscene amount of food and feed us until we could hardly move. I also remember wondering what in the world made her so happy about us all "pigging out" until we were miserable .......... Well last night I think I finally Got it ! She was alot wiser than I gave her credit for :-)
I love looking in the rear view mirror and seeing the two girls laughing and giggling knowing that they will always be each others "Best Friend".
I love that I am never caught up on the laundry and that I have become an expert in organic stain removal ;-)
I love it when I'm rocking Rachel in the glider chair in her nursery and Audrey comes in hugs her sister tight, says "I love you", and tells Rachel that she will be in the next room if she needs her.
I love it when we all load up in the Van to go to visit family and stop at Mcdonalds half way, Exit 70 Nashville. Our Mcdonalds visit is usually fast, furious and a lesson in surviving toddler eating habits but it sure makes for great memories lol.
I love that Audrey's Clothes can now become hand-me downs.
I love that I can't remember the last time I was ever bored or wondered what my purpose in life was !
There are many more things I am loving about being a family of four now, but I'm too pooped to think of them now.
Last night after we ate dinner, there wasn't anything left and we were all full but were asking if there was anything left. I can remember when there were always leftovers ............ I love empty pans and happy chubby faces with rosy cheeks.
I can remember my Grandma (mom's mom) always loved to cook for us when we came to visit and she would make an obscene amount of food and feed us until we could hardly move. I also remember wondering what in the world made her so happy about us all "pigging out" until we were miserable .......... Well last night I think I finally Got it ! She was alot wiser than I gave her credit for :-)
I love looking in the rear view mirror and seeing the two girls laughing and giggling knowing that they will always be each others "Best Friend".
I love that I am never caught up on the laundry and that I have become an expert in organic stain removal ;-)
I love it when I'm rocking Rachel in the glider chair in her nursery and Audrey comes in hugs her sister tight, says "I love you", and tells Rachel that she will be in the next room if she needs her.
I love it when we all load up in the Van to go to visit family and stop at Mcdonalds half way, Exit 70 Nashville. Our Mcdonalds visit is usually fast, furious and a lesson in surviving toddler eating habits but it sure makes for great memories lol.
I love that Audrey's Clothes can now become hand-me downs.
I love that I can't remember the last time I was ever bored or wondered what my purpose in life was !
There are many more things I am loving about being a family of four now, but I'm too pooped to think of them now.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Trip to KY visiting Nai Nai & Papa and Rae & Grandpa
We just arrived home yesterday evening from a wonderful visit with both our families. We are fairly exhausted but thankful for how well everything went ! I am very happy to report that this trip went much much better than our trip home at Christmastime. Rachel actually slept in her crib and slept through the night until 6am. 6am was a bit early, but such an improvement that we didn't mind at all. Also, Rachel played with Audrey outside most of the time we were home and had so much fun. Her legs look like she has been in a war because she's still is developing coordination and falls alot but she really didn't seem to mind. She will take some hard falls and just get up and act like nothing happened. She really is our "little tank" ;-) Audrey was a great Big Sis as always and helped take care of her Lil Sis during the trip. She is growing up on us way too fast ! The pictures in our slideshow are of two Bubblefests we had with my parents and Alex's parents. At Alex's house, the Breeding Clan came for a visit and a great time was had by all. We are really looking forward to our next visit home; the difference a few months can make is amazing.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
About the Past 6 months, Attachment & Bonding , other Adoption issues .......
While the past 6 months is still fresh in my mind, I just wanted to mention some of our experiences, trials and tribulations we had after Rachel's adoption. There is a reason that I rarely updated our blog after October of last year.
When we received Rachel in Chongqing in July of last year she automatically smiled her best smile and went to both Alex, I and Alex's parents without the slightest anxiety or fear and this was just fine with us after experiencing Audreys screaming fits on "Gotcha Day" in 2004. Because Rachel was just turning 10 months old, we just assumed we had been blessed with an "easy" baby. When we received Rachel in China she was literally the perfect child, she slept through every night; she never fussed unless she was hungry; and I hardly remember her ever crying. Once home this behavior continued for about two months and I remember thinking that I didn't know what all the fuss was about handling two. This was no more difficult than having just Audrey.
In late September the "easy baby" was no more. Suddenly, as if a tornado had hit, our little Rachel became this very emotional, very demanding, and constantly upset child who seemed unpleasable (She cried most of her waking hours and her feet rarely hit the floor). To make matters worse she went through about 4 months where she would reach out to just about anyone (strangers or friends), especially if she wasn't getting what she wanted from mom or dad. I don't think I have ever been so humbled in my life. Rachel would act like she was the happiest child in the world when we were out in public, but the second we were in the car or at home, she would come unglued and scream and cry unless she was held continuously. I finally came to the realization that we had some serious issues that needed to be addressed. I started reading as much as I could about bonding and attachment as well as other adoption issues. I just focused 150% on Rachel and her needs and tried not to let my emotions come into play as much as possible. Initially, when Rachel started "pleaing for help", I wasn't there for her like I should have been. I just couldn't believe that our "perfect child" was now completely out of control and I felt helpless for quite some time. Even after I realized what some of Rachels problems were and had found ways to help her, I still wondered if she would ever bond the way that Audrey had and if she would ever trust and love me the same way......
I am here to tell you now that she has and the transformation in Rachel is nothing short of miraculous. She will now hug me tight whenever she can and calls for me whenever she is feeling insecure or just needs affection. Until the past couple of months, Rachel didn't wan't any affection unless it was on her terms and usually she just wanted to be carried around but not hugged or kissed. She will now play independently or with her sister rather than needing to be held constantly and she just appears to be so much more secure. She has also developed "stranger anxiety" over the past two months and I have never been so happy about anything. After almost 7 months home Rachel finally realizes how loved she is and that she can let her guard down. She also gets along wonderfully with her big sis now and they are pretty much inseperable. We are truly blessed.
While the past 6 months is still fresh in my mind, I just wanted to mention some of our experiences, trials and tribulations we had after Rachel's adoption. There is a reason that I rarely updated our blog after October of last year.
When we received Rachel in Chongqing in July of last year she automatically smiled her best smile and went to both Alex, I and Alex's parents without the slightest anxiety or fear and this was just fine with us after experiencing Audreys screaming fits on "Gotcha Day" in 2004. Because Rachel was just turning 10 months old, we just assumed we had been blessed with an "easy" baby. When we received Rachel in China she was literally the perfect child, she slept through every night; she never fussed unless she was hungry; and I hardly remember her ever crying. Once home this behavior continued for about two months and I remember thinking that I didn't know what all the fuss was about handling two. This was no more difficult than having just Audrey.
In late September the "easy baby" was no more. Suddenly, as if a tornado had hit, our little Rachel became this very emotional, very demanding, and constantly upset child who seemed unpleasable (She cried most of her waking hours and her feet rarely hit the floor). To make matters worse she went through about 4 months where she would reach out to just about anyone (strangers or friends), especially if she wasn't getting what she wanted from mom or dad. I don't think I have ever been so humbled in my life. Rachel would act like she was the happiest child in the world when we were out in public, but the second we were in the car or at home, she would come unglued and scream and cry unless she was held continuously. I finally came to the realization that we had some serious issues that needed to be addressed. I started reading as much as I could about bonding and attachment as well as other adoption issues. I just focused 150% on Rachel and her needs and tried not to let my emotions come into play as much as possible. Initially, when Rachel started "pleaing for help", I wasn't there for her like I should have been. I just couldn't believe that our "perfect child" was now completely out of control and I felt helpless for quite some time. Even after I realized what some of Rachels problems were and had found ways to help her, I still wondered if she would ever bond the way that Audrey had and if she would ever trust and love me the same way......
I am here to tell you now that she has and the transformation in Rachel is nothing short of miraculous. She will now hug me tight whenever she can and calls for me whenever she is feeling insecure or just needs affection. Until the past couple of months, Rachel didn't wan't any affection unless it was on her terms and usually she just wanted to be carried around but not hugged or kissed. She will now play independently or with her sister rather than needing to be held constantly and she just appears to be so much more secure. She has also developed "stranger anxiety" over the past two months and I have never been so happy about anything. After almost 7 months home Rachel finally realizes how loved she is and that she can let her guard down. She also gets along wonderfully with her big sis now and they are pretty much inseperable. We are truly blessed.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
February News
February wasn't a bad month at all except that both the girls had colds which is never fun. Rachel had a yucky cold when we visited the TN aquarium which is why you don't see her or Alex in any of the pics. Alex volunteered to stay home with her while Audrey and I went with my sister, her husband, son and his mother, father, brother and two nephews (adopted from Russia). We had a wonderful time and we were definitely all wore out by the end of the day. On Presidents day, I took Audrey and Rachel to a playdate with several FCC families and the girls had a blast. At this point Rachel still wasn't walking very well so I ended up holding her alot but she still seemed to really enjoy herself. neither of our girls have a shy bone in their body. Their motto truly is "the more the merrier" ! Audrey started writing some letters in February and was very proud to show them off; hence the picture of her holding the piece of paper with several As and an H. Needless to say, I was sooo excited to see her letters since in the past when I've tried to show her how to write some letters she showed no interest at all.
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